GISHWHES 2013

From August 11-18, I participated in GISHWHES. GISHWHES is a 3-time Guinness World Record breaking scavenger hunt hosted by actor Misha Collins. It is comprised of a global community of thousands of individuals (94 countries and growing!) that "gather" for a week online once a year, form international teams, and then go out into the real world and create "art" the likes of which the world has never seen.

This content is captured as videos or images to memorialize the annual Gishwhes experience. Art pieces range from the touching: "Take a picture of you hugging a war veteran" or "Create a video of you visiting a children's hospital and giving a puppet show" to the weirdly sublime: "an image of a formal tea party replete with parasols, silverware and a string quartet situated in a junkyard or garbage dump" or "a fully dressed storm trooper cleaning a pool next to a sunbather."

I made a Southern California team and got partnered with a group of people from Texas, and a group from Scotland. We were TheMainAttractionLovesMazer. Here are my top 20 favorite moments that I was a part of:

1) Hug the world-

GISHWHES attempted to break a Guinness World Record for largest online album of hug photos. The previous record was 69,004. GISHWHES aimed for over 100,000. The last time I was able to check before our time ran out, there were 107,500 hug photos submitted.

GISHWHES crashes my cousin's wedding.

Because hugs from Heidi are the best.

2) Create a four panel comic book with no Photoshop-

I like this one because it required Dylan to belly flop onto the ground multiple times.

3) Draw a portrait of George Takei using only sand and your fingers-

I hope I don't have to explain to you why I loved drawing this so much.

4) Take a spinning class in full scuba gear-

Average conversation that day:
Stranger: "What are you guys doing? Taking a spinning class in scuba gear?"
Me and Nick: "Yep."
Stranger: "Hahaha. No, really. What are you doing?"

https://www.facebook.com/breakawaystudio

5) Project the YouTube film "Stranger Danger" in an abandoned drive-in movie theater-

The drive-in was private property, so we had to project the film from the sidewalk onto the back of a screen. While taking some stock footage of the abandoned place, a car's headlights suddenly turned on from inside the gate. The car proceeded to chase us for five miles on the freeway before giving up, which I'm glad they did because I don't know what I would have done if I got arrested while wearing my glow-in-the-dark dinosaur onesie.

6) Reading Heidi's status updates-

Heidi took on turning herself into a dessert and taking pictures of herself in a place where that dessert would be found. She went with birthday cake. She also later told me that it didn't occur to her that all that frosting would clog the drain. So she had to remove as much as she could with a spatula before she could shower.

7) Film a University professor making a lecture about why the telegraph will inevitably make a comeback-

Just watch it.

8) Dragon burned down my castle-

We went to Laguna Beach to fulfill this one. We would have raised more money for the poor if we had time to drive out to Venice Beach. Or if a tiny, tiny bunny had not upstaged them.

BUNNY!

9) Dress a family of four for a holiday card. Time lapse a video of them standing perfectly still for five minutes in a public place-

We originally tried to film this inside of the Laguna Hills Mall, but a mall cop said we had to go outside because of 9/11 and structural integrity.
I am also wearing a tree skirt as a skirt.

10) There is something you have always wanted to do as a child. Do it-

Done.

11) Hold a pillow fight with ten people. Everyone has to be in their pajamas-

This one I love because it was destiny. We needed ten people for this shoot. Four of us were gathered together, wondering who we could call this late to join in a pillow fight when suddenly my friend Emily appeared. She was having dinner at the same restaurant with Jordan, Roni, Brandon, and Phil. Then while waiting for everyone to meet at my parent's house, Maria was randomly at our house to visit. She also happened to be in pajamas just because she felt like wearing them.

12) Photograph two surfers talking on a tin can line while surfing-

Nick had to wake up at 6 in the morning to accomplish this one. It took hours to do because the surf was so awful that morning.

13) Take the road less taken-

This was the first item Nick and I did.

14) Build a recognizable structure using only books-

Even mini-Big Ben is taller than my mom. 
 

15)  Put an ad for your cult in a local newspaper-

The day after we set up this alien cult ad, the newspaper called us to tell us they were uncomfortable running it because of a production problem. The problem was that they thought "puppies & ice cream for all" was a little misleading.

16) Stare down an animal in a cage. You are also in a cage. Your cage is in his cage-

Addie did not like seeing me in puppy jail. She sat by my side the entire time for moral support.

17) Knit a sweater for a statue of a famous historical figure-

I had to knit through my cousin's wedding to finish this in time. I went to dinner after taking photos, and when we returned, about a dozen people were pointing out Ben had a sweater and taking pictures with him. I have a feeling alcohol had something to do with it, but it was still cool to see.

18) Have a child under the age of 12 draw their favorite thing-

His mother was very disappointed to see that he didn't draw her.

Ipad-ception.

19) Photograph a live creature as a passenger in Barbie's car-

Jr did not like the flash on my camera.

20) Reading this update because no one should ever have to write this sentence-

Seriously.

much love,
hedgie

shakespearean verse

So this week has been crazy. I had 50 billion things to do. 50 billion things exactly. Since I'm still recovering, I'm going to post about something that happened a while ago.

Nick took me to see Much Ado About Nothing for my birthday, and I spent the rest of the night thinking about how weird it must have been to suddenly switch into Shakespearean speak and iambic pentameter when I realized that I've totally done that before.

In my Shakespeare's Tragedies and Romances class, we were given two choices for our final. We could either write an essay or write a deleted scene for one of the plays we read. I chose to write a final scene for The Winter's Tale, where Perdita finds out about what happened to her mom and then runs off to elope without her crazy family.

I'm not going to stick you with all ten pages of it, so here is an excerpt:

PERDITA: ‘Tis most strange, his sudden leave-taking.

Mayhaps I was the cause behind such times

he cares not yet to summon memory.

HERMIONE: Think not such thoughts. Thy presence has brought naught

but joy.

FLORIZEL: There is much good sense in what thy

mother spake. I see not how any bad

can come from thee. Thy body is filled with

such grace, there be little space for evil.

PERDITA: If I bring not bad memories, wherefore

did his mood turn foul? It seems I am like

the red rose, such grace and charm in petals,

yet hidden ‘neathe are thorns that bruise and make

mortal fingers bleed.

HERMONE:            This comes from my lips

as unwilling as birdlime from the poor

feathered creature’s foot, yet I am trapped and

must sing out the truth and thou can hear the

true sweet melody of they natural

goodness. When I carried thee in the womb,

they father did think ‘twas Polixenes

that made me swell thus.

FLORIZEL:                      T’would be but folly!

HERMIONE: Aye, yet t’is true. His jealousy drove out

his senses, driving him to grave measures.

Even when the oracle proclaimed my

innocence, he remained convinced that I

had transformed him into a cuckold. To

rid himself of those hateful horns, he sent

me away to jail and ordered that thou

wouldst be left to some remote and desert

place. Thy poor brother did suffer so and

perished from the toils of the event.

PERDITA: By my fay!

HERMIONE:               Judge not thy father harshly,

For ‘twas not him that did these deeds, but a

monster that did take the form of him. These

events are all passed. Let us move forward.

I must stand beside him and assist him.

Exeunt Hermione.

PERDITA: Forsooth, my past is filled with much darkness

and woe. To think on how much mine mother

and brother hath suffered at the hand of

the King tortures my thoughts. 

FLORIZEL:                           The Queen doth seems

to have forgiven him. Can you not grant

him that blessing anon?

PERDITA:                   Wouldst thou forgive

a man that hath torn they family asunder?

It is more than I can bear to have this

man be near me the day of our union.

FLORIZEL: (aside) If I keep this side, the only ring I

shall see is the one I wrap around her

dainty finger upon our wedding day.

(To Perdita) Fret not, my dear Perdita, we have run

away to be together without some

quarrelsome father once and we shall do’t

again. We shall go back to Bohemia

and marry on the spot where mine eyeball

first come across thy shape whilst thou went to

tend to the fields and the sun lit up thy

face and set thy features ablaze and thus

astounded me so that I thought I was

looking upon some virgin goddess. Let

us steal away from this place. I shall find

a ship and crew to hire and we shall

take our leave this very day. And, mayhaps,

leave a note for thy mother that she may

not worry when we are found to be gone.

PERDITA: Aye, ‘tis a noble idea. The farmland

I once felt so out of place in now sounds

like a haven to me.

FLORIZEL:          I shall set to

work now or the gap we make in time will

be brought to the attention of the king.

I shall not be long. Soon we will set sail.

                                                            Exeunt Florizel

PERDITA: Could it be that the jealous fury which

boiled his blood could surge through mine own veins?

Aye, there is no cure for’t. The heartache which

has left my mother beats within myself.

To raise children in a land full of such

villainous times is a though I cannot

linger on. Though this be my true home, I

shall not be happy here. Must I go? T’would

be simple to stay and make false faces of

joy amongst those of real. No man could pick

mine out as separate in a sea of

people. I could stay and try to make do

with what I know and learn to live with it

and transcend it. I am not as strong as

others who know the tale and can live with

 knowledge of’t. ‘Tis but a dream made of

nothing, made of thin air. Any fool could

make something of nothing, it is a better

person who couldst make something of something.

It is real and solid. No, I must leave

and search for places new where I may start

a safe life. My dear mother, it pains me

to leave you so soon after we have just

met, but I must. With his blood in me, the

King already has too much flowing

influence. In his presence, it can only

grow worse still. If you had but nursed me in

my youth, there may be some balance. But, alas,

‘tis too late for such hope.

                                                            Exeunt Perdita 

Basically, my professor's only real comment was that he thought Florizel was too stately to make a sexual innuendo, but c'mon, it's Shakespeare. There has to be at least one.

I promise I will be much less boring next week.




much love,
hedgie

used books flash fiction

This abnosome story is the fourth flash fiction inspired by the "Ten things we love" list.

4) Used books

When Ellen graduated from grad school, she expected to keep working towards higher education. She planned to knock off all the classics from those “need to read before you die” lists. She would read every single thing Shakespeare ever wrote; maybe even finally tackle War and Peace. But instead, she kept picking up books she read in high school, and going father and father back into her childhood until she was visiting her parents’ home to dig up her old copies of Shel Silverstein books. Ellen thought maybe she loved doing this so much because it was safe. She didn’t have to think or focus. She already had an understanding of the characters. She knew the plot and didn’t get worked up wondering what step was next for them. It was the one thing in her life where she knew exactly where it was going.

            But what surprised her was the way her memories from the first time she read the books seemed scotch-taped to each page like some kind of scrapbook.  To Kill a Mockingbird was severely humid, that summer the air conditioning broke. She could feel the backs of her knees velcroed to the arm of the family’s leather loveseat. Matilda smelled like campfire ash and dirt, and was sticky with fish slime. She was hit with pangs of embarrassment when she read A Separate Peace and suddenly remembered how she had cried and wailed when she thought Kevin would finally ask her out, but saw him in the lunch quad with his arm slung casually around Alyssa Woods’ shoulders.  She stopped reading middle school books after that.

            It was a strange feeling not being in school anymore. Tense, but lazy at the same time. She supposed that was just how mid-20’s was. It felt like something someone should have warned her about. The university should send letters to every graduating student or bring it up in the commencement speech. Instead, she got a Holocaust survivor who made a speech about how everyone he cared about was dead before the school awarded him an honorary degree. The university president worked in every ludicrous and hopeful cliché he knew into his speech. Just before the ceremony, Ellen and some friends made graduation bingo cards, filling in the squares with words and phrases they felt most likely to come up. Ellen crammed her card full of bird imagery. “Leaving the nest”. “Take flight”. “Soar high”. She had a black out within five minutes.

            After graduation, Ellen moved. Right outside her new apartment, there was a tree with low, strong branches. She could easily climb up, and just beyond where the leaves thickened to blot her out of sight, there were braches that she could sit in with her back supported. She loved reading up there and loved more when she saw one of her roommates walking by and could call out their name without being seen. They would turn in circles, searching for where she was until she instructed them to look up, if she did tell them to. Ellen was in the tree, re-reading Island of the Blue Dolphins and remembering the warm, meaty holes left in her gums when she lost teeth.

The wind picked up, rustling the leaves that surrounded her, sounding almost like heavy rain but dry. She glanced up from the words and stared at the pages. The light and shadows jumbled all over, making it look as if she was sitting in the middle of a swarm of birds. She closed her eyes and imagined it. The thousands of birds’ wings creating the breeze blowing through her hair, lifting her up with their power, almost certain she could float off with them.

much love,
hedgie

covered up

Lately, I keep seeing these articles where people tell women how they should dress in order to avoid unwanted attention from men. They give tips to not wear heavy makeup, to cover up cleavage, and to wear loose clothing.

So for everyone who thinks that dressing or presenting yourself in a certain way will prevent you from being a target of certain men, here is a story of what happened to me this week:

There's a tiny dog park inside my apartment complex. I walk Addie there a few times a day so that she can run around. I've met a lot of my neighbors here because they also have dogs and we spend a few minutes telling stories and trading training tips before we leave to get on with our day. Just before lunch, I took Addie there and removed her leash when a guy without a dog followed me in there. Now, here is what he walked in on:

And he still hit on me. He kept telling me how pretty I was, and asking if I wanted to go with him even after I told him I wasn't interested. He also made it a very big point to inform me that I looked like I was barely 18.

By the rules and standards I keep seeing online, this guy should have just walked past me without a second glance. My point is, I couldn't even go 30 ft from my apartment without some guy invading my space and making me feel very uncomfortable. He would not stop pestering me until I just left the park. The clothes I wore had nothing to do with it. Being on this side of this type of interaction isn't complimentary, it is annoying and sometimes just plain scary.

Seriously, this is not cool. I just want to walk my dog.



much love,
hedgie