the reockoning

March 25: Addie has not been feeling well lately. She eats half the food in her bowl and she has diarrhea. On our walk this morning, she saw another dog and got so excited she almost threw up.

March 26: Jai’von didn’t have his phone to call his mom when she was late to pick him up, but he did have a bullhorn and a giant can of cologne with him for some reason.

March 27: It can be so strange to spend your whole life watching someone on television and then see them in real life. It is so surreal to discover that they are a human being with a life outside of what you know them for. John Cleese made it absolutely sure to everyone that he is first and foremost a father.
“How would “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” end if the police never showed up?”
“We just couldn’t think of any other ending. I know, I know, it’s a huge cop out.”
I think our groans just made him stronger.

“Writers never really throw anything away.” (On reusing bits that never made it into the movie)

March 28: A student at Biola recently got arrested for stashing a gun in their dorm room. When I was applying to college, I remembered visiting the dorms, hearing the rules, and constantly being approached by overenthusiastic sophomores.
“You can’t even have a goldfish in the dorms, why did he have a gun?”

March 29: The conversation was halted every half hour due to the commotion of the trains speeding by. It wasn’t even just the noise that would make everything come to a halt. All of us couldn’t help but watch the boxcars blur past us going to destinations unknown.

March 30: Katie, dad and I were working in a long room while waiting for Nick to finish up his business call. A few people came in and arranged a pile of cookies and cupcakes on the counter near us. Despite being completely alone for the previous half hour, people suddenly swarmed around the baked good. Apparently, they have a hive mind at Google.

March 31: I don’t know if Heidi meant to terrify me, but she did. Saturn is returning to where it was the day we were born, meaning that we should expect to get what is coming to us. She referred to it as “The Reckoning”.





much love,
hedgie 

shootings in schools, bombings in texas, and selena gomez in a bikini

March 17: Katie steals things almost every time she is drunk. Over the years, she has drunkenly stolen a full set of steak knives, a pair of bowling shoes for both me and her, and a 3 liter bottle of wine. Once, I happened to be near the cash register when my dad leaned over to the cashier and explained that the girl in the hat was going to steal a pint glass and he wanted to pay for it before hand. He has been paying for all of her ill-gotten gains for years.

March 18: The men and woman with pushcarts lined the waterfront. The lids to the carts were makeshift hot plate where they could grill onions and hot dogs wrapped in bacon for tourists and drunk locals. They can vanish within seconds if a police car pulls up. The only sign that they were ever there is a long trial of water that dripped from the drain of the wheeled beverage cooler.

March 19: An older woman that had been volunteering with Reading Partners loudly complimented herself on wearing a bright, beaded necklace. “All my students keep pointing it out. I think they really appreciate it when people try. All these teachers I keep seeing wear leggings and so much black.” 
Maria and I looked down at ourselves. We were both wearing black leggings with a black sweatshirt. The older woman spends one hour with one child in one room twice a week. I’d like to see how she would start dressing if her outfits needed to survive a full day of having 20+ children for hours in the cafeteria, outside for recess, teaching STEM classes, and the unavoidable vomiting.

March 20: The top storied on my news app are reports on shootings in schools, bombings in Texas, and Selena Gomez in a bikini.

March 21: I shrugged my backpack onto the floor and dropped in my chair. “There was so much crying today,” I said, still haunted by five children sobbing over their spot in line.
“And how were the kids?,” Maria asked.

March 22: After the Eagle Awards, seven students pushed past me in the cafeteria and into the hallway to get a slice of ice cream cake for Kelly’s birthday. As soon as I returned, I took their plates and threw them into the trash. It is now one of the few times I a very glad my class is so bad at working together, otherwise, they would form a mutiny and I would probably be burning at some stake right now.

March 23: There was a shooting at a barbershop yesterday. A man on drugs got into an argument with someone and decided to settle it for good. One person died and five more were injured. Melissa had a friend who was had an appointment there when the shooting happened, but he ran late and missed it.
“That’s why I’m never on time for anything.”

March 24: My dad always told me to keep my standards low, that way I would never be disappointed, that way I am either I am right or I am pleasantly surprised. It gets pretty confusing when people ask me if I am an optimist or a pessimist.




much love,
hedgie

lead by example

March 8: Edwin threatened to murder another student in his classroom. When Vivi tried to intervene, he threatened to stab her with the pair of scissors he was holding in his hand. When his mother came to pick him up, Melissa and Vivi tried to discuss the incident with her, but she was only half paying attention to what they were saying while trying to get her kids to hurry up and get ready to leave because she was taking them out for ice cream.

March 9: Melissa was on behavior duty and had to escort one kid out into the hallway when he was having a break down in class when one kid didn’t move out of his way fast enough.
“Why would you react like that?”
“That’s how we do it where I’m from. I’m from the…” Instead of finishing his sentence, he lifted the combination cotton and synthetic fiber hood of his sweater.

March 10: If I ever run for president, my main campaign promise will be to get rid of daylight savings time.

March 11: When I was little, I was obsessed with Pocahontas. It lead me to own every piece of merchandise I could could convince my parents to buy for me, sing my favorite songs at the head every time we took at the canoe, and even once try to befriend a raccoon during a camping trip. When my parents asked me why I loved her so much, I responded that it was because she looked just like me.

March 12: It’s a strange thing to advance to the voir dire round of jury duty because you are stuck in a non-ventilated room with 70 other people. A lawyer will ask you if you ever think it is ever justified to shoot someone in the face while the two defendants are sitting ten feet away and staring at you.

March 13: My kids kept asking where I was and Melissa tried to explain jury duty to them. I’m not sure what she said, but about a third of the class thinks I’m in jail right now.

March 14: There was a protest at school today. Students from all grades marched around the school and into Precita Park, where they held hands in a circle and demanded that guns be kept out of schools.

March 15:

I shouldn’t have gone onto the internet. I wanted to see if all the school walkouts had influenced any lawmakers. Instead, I just saw comments about how “retarded” these kids are because their actions have done nothing and that the reason there are school shootings is because these kids haven’t learned to treat people nicely.  

I love when people lead by example.

March 16: Miss Jen interrupted everyone’s reading buddy time by announcing on the walkie that L’madja was eating ants.






much love,
hedgie

doubles as an anti-malaria pill

March 1: Melissa printed out stickers to remind parents that we close early during Parent Teacher Conference Week. I handed one to Umali and told her to put it somewhere she wouldn’t forget it when she was picked up. She stared at me blankly for a few seconds before slapping it onto her forehead.

March 2: The acne medication that the dermatologist prescribed for me also doubles as an anti-malaria pill. So I’ve got all my bases covered.

March 3: I’ve spent all day watching videos of angry raccoons. Trying to write a story is weird.

March 4: In college, people always made jokes about how whipped Nick was because he always gave in to what I wanted. If only those people could see how bad he is with our dog. He just gave up his spot on the couch and rearranged the pillows the way she likes it.

March 5: The judge presiding over the murder trial tries his best to balance out the bitterness of being a jury member on a murder trial. He makes steamed pork buns on the first day and then bring in dark chocolate for everyone every day after that.

March 6: The pre-packed lunches come with a turkey sandwich, an apple, a bag of pretzels, and a bag of carrots. Rather than eating the carrots, the kids have been making fists and wedging the carrots between their middle and ring fingers, trying to make the argument that they technically aren’t really flipping anyone off.

March 7: I finally gave in to Luna, Milo, and Umali’s pleas to play songs from Hamilton during program. During “My Shot”, I yelled nonsense to blot out the lyric of “shitting”. After that, all there of them would sing the lyrics and scream in perfect unison over every cuss word.




much love,
hedgie