July 8: At the Cheeseburger Cat Cabaret, there was a robot comedian. He was wheeled onstage and he had an iPad for a face with two tall grey rectangles for eyes and a larger grey rectangle for a mouth that fluctuated in size while he was talking. “How many kidnapped children does it take to screw in a light bulb?” he asked. He had long, wooden fingers that quivered as he moved from side to side. “Apparently more than three because my basement is still dark.
July 9: Two books and three months later, I am finally done with a full rough draft of my essay about the golden fire hydrant ceremony!
July 10: All the students who read every day during the summer program selected which teacher they wanted to throw a pie at in the last week. Sixteen students chose me.
July 11: At The California Academy of Sciences, Joanna and Angie found a machine that would record your voice and play it back to you the way it would sound if we were deep sea diving. It made our voices so shrill that it hurt my ears. We sounded like Alvin and The Chipmunks on helium.
July 12: As always, George has become more popular than me. My co-workers say good morning to him before talking to me. Xavier even made a friendship bracelet for George out of orange pipe cleaners and wrapped it gently around his front right paw.
July 13: My day began with a homeless man trying to pee on me as I was walking to work. It ended with all the teachers taking over the two bounce houses after all the students were picked up. I guess it all balances out.
July 14: Nick found a bottle of 8-year old bourbon whiskey called Buck. I sent a picture to Dad, who, amazed by the coincidence, immediately texted back that he also used to BE eight years old. I then pointed out that they were both also 45% alcohol.
much love,
hedgie
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