i can read the monkey's mind

September 17: Mr. Wood’s came had a black eye from trying to calm down a child who was throwing around everything in the class he could pick up. That child has a two-day suspension, which is the first suspension I have ever heard of taking place at this school. Not even the kid who repeatedly pulled the fire alarm got suspended. He wrote one anonymous apology letter.

September 18: “This is our blubber glove so we can experience what it feels like for whales to be in cold water.”
“What’s in it?”
“Crisco. It’s used for baking as a butter substitute.”
“Can I eat it?”
“Please don’t.”
“But I love butter.”
“You would eat just butter?”
“I can eat a whole stick. I like to put it on chocolate.”

September 19: By the time my kids came down for supper, there weren’t enough hot dogs for them to have seconds. They took it very, very personally.

September 20: I taught my Endangered Species class about the Black Crested Macaques that figured out how to take selfies. After they got over the whole bright pink butt thing, they got surprisingly into the court case that followed. “How can PETA know what the monkey is thinking? Are they just like ‘I can read the monkey’s mind and they want to sue you and you and you?’”

September 21: Addie is not able to sense earthquakes before they happen, but apparently she can predict when George is about to have a bout of diarrhea. At three in the morning, she started pacing the room and whining until Nick took them out. Which is double strange because George shows no symptoms of anything bad about to happen until it is already too late.

September 22: Nick decided that today we would have a tea parade. He brewed a mug for all five teas that he brought home from Singapore. He even chose themed mugs so that we could tell which was which. The Unicorn green tea was in a green mug. The detox tea was in my teacher mug because being a teacher means I need to detox. The Singapore Breakfast was in a red mug because it matched the red tin. The white tea was in a white box. And the Royal Tea was in an Elvis mug because that is the closest thing we had to royalty.

September 23: I have 22 fourth graders stuffed into a room that is set up for 15 second graders. They can’t all sit in their chairs without moving the table farther away from each other and they can’t all fit on the rainbow rug at the same time because the cabinets are positioned right at the edges and there is no space for overflow.




much love,
hedgie