we're awful

November 1: The streets are littered with unwrapped pieces of candy. It makes it hard to walk Addie because she lunges for every piece she finds and she has yet to make the connection between eating things out of the gutter and her getting bouts of diarrhea.

November 2: Our counselor has been dividing her time between two offices. She is in San Francisco two days a week and in the East Bay the rest of the time. She’s going to be switching to the East Bay full time and we have to decide what we want to do now. I know it would be really difficult to add a commute to therapy, but I’m really hesitant to leave something I know is working and gambling on something else we know nothing about. It’s like going to a restaurant with your favorite meal and then ordering something else just to see what the rest of their food is like.

November 3: I’m already a few hundred words behind on NaNoWriMo. In order to catch up, I need to write over 2,200 words today. It doesn’t help that Nick keeps coming into the room to show me things, like the onion we got in our Hello Fresh box this week that he thinks is huge.

November 4: I lay down on the couch, the muscles in my legs and back still twitching from walking home from lunch. It was like they were all still pumped up from being outside and were whispering excitedly to each other.

November 5:

Ana poked unhappily at her salad with her fork after finishing her the first, disappointing bite. “It tastes like grass,” she said, making a face. “That’s because it is grass,” Jen said. “What did you expect?”

Or

She didn’t like the way he talked about how good things were when she was on Zoloft. He would point out how they rarely fought and how they had sex all the time. They were happier than they had been for a long time. He didn’t give her any credit for how hard she worked to get there. It was like he was telling her that all his favorite things about her was the medication.

November 6: Nick and I cast our votes after work. Now, I get to spend the rest of the night anxiously refreshing my webpage to watch the seats of the House and Senate get filled.

November 7: Janessa looked at me curiously at recess today. “Miss. Heather, do you want to have kids someday?”
“Yes, I do.”
She looked very confused by my answer. “Why?” She asked. “We’re awful.”

November 8: I labeled a dozen ziplock bags for each of my knitting class students so that they would have a place to store their projects when class ended. They had been with the kids for about five minutes before Briana opened hers up and spit in it.




much love,
hedgie