wrong no matter what

February 23: I remember the exact moment that I realized Nick’s dad was determined to hate me no matter what I did. A few months before my 22nd birthday, I described how I wanted to host a food fight because that was something I heard a lot of my friends say they wanted to do someday. He thought my idea was stupid and wondered why anyone would want to do that. A few weeks after the birthday, we saw him again. He asked what we had been up to recently and Nick described my birthday party, but left out that fact that it was my birthday party. His dad suddenly thought the idea was very creative and sounded like a great time. He was set to dislike anything that had to do with me. It made me think that this is why he hates Addie and likes George. I picked Addie and trained her, whereas George had a full life before us. It makes me wonder what he will be like to the children Nick and I have, knowing that they will be half of me.

February 24: Nick did our taxes today. I don’t understand how I can both qualify for food stamps and not be considered Nick’s dependent. My whole month’s pay wouldn’t cover our rent. How is someone supposed to actually eat and live off this amount?

February 25: I don’t understand why all these outdoor sports programs decided to come to our school during the only time of year we get rain. These programs started three weeks ago and five classes have already been canceled. When they were first visiting campus, they asked Melissa if there was any alternative indoor spaces in case it rained. Melissa almost laughed at them. They would have to go to a private school to find that kind of thing.

February 26: The Momo Challenge popped up today when a day teacher was showing her class a video. Momo is this evil spirit thing that threatens children, telling them to hurt themselves and if they tell their parents about it, she will kill them. It is represented by the image of a woman with long, black hair, bulging eyes, and a joyless grin that stretches literally ear to ear. People on YouTube spread her challenge by making Peppa Pig or Fortnite videos aimed at children and then splicing her in. Ana found a video of one today. It instructed children to find the sharpest item they can drag it from their wrist to their elbow as hard as they can. She says that if they do it right, a lot of red stuff will come out. She told them to look in the garage for their dad’s sharpest tool or go into the kitchen for their mom’s biggest knife. First of all, sexist. Second, the people who make these videos really need a new hobby. Who decides to spend their free time doing this kind of thing?

February 27: Maria’s table at the Health Fair had interesting heart facts that her kids were supposed to recite to anyone who stopped by. Instead, they decided that the phrases were true or false questions and ask me to guess which they were. They told me I was wrong no matter what I answered.

February 28: The school had their Black History Month performance today. I had trouble enjoying it because the dance teachers have very different ideas of what is appropriate for children than what I do. They had fifth graders twerking, two songs that were clearly about sex, and then a number by Chris Brown.





much love,
hedgie