sorry, bitch.

May 1: A first grader was sent to spend lunch with us in the bungalow because he wouldn’t stop shouting ’shut up bitch’. His day teacher tried to deal with this by ignoring him. That just made him yell it louder. When he came to our bungalow, he told Ana he would fuck her up. Then he apologized by saying “sorry, bitch”.

May 2: I brought in two tubs of play dough as one of my after-homework centers. They were bright orange and a murky yellow that had pulled up dirt from tabletops and mixed together with a little of an old brown play dough. Within five minutes, my kids pointed out that these colors were all they needed to make Trump out of play dough.

May 3: Abel has been borrowing books from the library six at a time. I repeatedly told him to only take one book out of the classroom with him, but he insists on carrying all of them all day long. He won’t put them in his backpack, so he shoves all of them into the front pocket of his sweater as if I won’t notice the giant bulge sagging from his stomach like a mother kangaroo carrying her baby.

May 4: Even when I do take a break from seeing Nick’s family, I still am not completely free of them. They don’t notice me or talk to me when I do go, but they all take notice when I’m not there. They will ask where I am, what I’m doing, and tell Nick to say that they missed me. I don’t believe them when they say these things, but Nick still does.

May 5: After the final movie of the Silent Film Festival, Nick and I walked a few blocks away from the Castro Theater to find a better spot for calling Lyft. Due to the rampant day drinking, in the three blocks we walked through, we saw a group of men taking selfies while standing on the solid double yellow lines in the middle of the road and three couple having very loud and public breakups.

May 6: The community circle question was about what we would wish for if we were granted three wishes. It amazed me how they could go wildly from wishing for big ad mundane things. David wished for a million dollars and a new pair of shoes because the one he was wearing were dirty. Joanna wanted to become a famous dancer and for her brother to be nicer to her. Orlando wanted unlimited wishes and to not have to share a bedroom with his brother.

May 7: Today is Melissa’s birthday, so we spent our morning going about the regular Mission Graduate birthday tradition: knowing for weeks the birthday was coming up, but scrambling at the last minute to come up with presents. Jen dug in her prize box and brought out packets of Tajin, a bead bracelet, and a plastic tiger. Abel had stolen all of our regular balloons, so I made a balloon dog. Maria made a balloon worm. The flowers Ana bought her had to be put in a water pitcher because we didn’t have a vase.

May 8: I’ve been called by a lot of names during my years at this school, and not just bad ones when kids are angry at me for making them practice lines or apologize to the person they punched in the face. I have been called by every teacher’s name, even the male ones. I have been called “mom” by almost all of my students at one point. Today, Abel called me “grandma”. That one hurt.





much love,
hedgie