March 20: I went to grab the ice packs for my morning recess shift, but there wasn’t a single ice pack left. The principal had emptied the mini-fridge out and had refilled it with dozens of Otter Pops instead.
March 21: When I asked Abel if he had been learning any cool moves in his karate class, he got excited to show off his favorite to me and Miss Ana. He lay down on the blacktop and instructed one of us to get on top of him. When we both just told him to show us the move, he smiled widely and shifted his shoulders, smearing his neon green sweater with streaks of black. “This is it!” he yelled.
March 22: I tried to do the Dancing Raisins experiment with my STEM class so we could talk about air pockets and how air flow affects anything that flies. But I lost them all almost immediately when one of the third grade boys noticed I had a liter of diet soda in my bag. At the end of the test, they all gulped it down with the raisins, almonds, and M&Ms still floating in it.
March 23: The Friday before Spring Break, we are going to be down three teachers. Miss Connie has to go work at Hart Elementary, Miss Jen is taking off early to travel, and Mr. Fernando needs to practice for a play he is in. Mr. Fernando tried to comfort me about the situation, saying it wouldn’t be too bad because a lot of student probably wouldn’t show up. I pointed out that it was supposed to rain all day, which meant no outdoor recess at all. He sucked in his breath. “Yeah, you’re fucked.”
March 24: Robert didn’t want his Branch troll doll to get wet, so he put it on top of my clipboard during recess. It ended up falling into a puddle anyway, slightly dampening the spastic blue hair at the tips. Robert began crying hysterically. He rubbed his left fist against his sodden eyes and shook his right fist out towards the playground. “The wind will pay for this!” he furiously screamed without any hint of self-awareness.
March 25: The champagne we guzzled in the parking lot next to the graffitied port-o-potties was finally starting to get to me. All the wedding dresses I had tried on that day were blurring together and it was difficult to make a decision. My consultant only added to the confusion when she said I was having a ‘bridal moment’ and Heidi and I exchanged confused glances.
March 26: Katie was very upset that we only had powdered creamer in the house. She couldn’t understand how we expected her to be able to drink her coffee. Dad got up from the couch to get a pencil so he could work on the newspaper crossword puzzle. Katie straightened up from her spot on the floor. “While you’re up, can you get me some Half and Half?”
much love,
hedgie
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