sharks, alligators, and bears combined

March 27: Corrie’s family dog has suddenly developed a paralyzing fear of bowls. She will only drink water that is squirted into her mouth using a turkey baster. Her mom has to dump her food directly onto the kitchen’s linoleum floor, and they feed her wet food.

March 28: A very daring person sat in this airline seat before me. They filled in half of the Southwest Magazine crossword puzzle in a thick, black pen. I finished the rest of it. It's strange to think that a complete team was made up of two people who will never meet.

March 29: But for arguments sake, let’s say someone did manage to creep up on an unusually inattentive cow. Could you really tip it over? (If you plan to try, keep in mind that the CDC estimates that 22 Americans are killed each year in bovine-related incidents; that’s more than the number of deaths caused by sharks, alligators, and bears combined.)

March 30: At the Exploratorium After Dark event, they had a two-way mirror and dials that adjusted the lighting so you could line your face up with someone else and see what happened when both of your features were combined. As an added surprise, there’s a blue button you can push that gave each person one half of the face. Nick was smiling while I has me mouth closed, which gave the immediate impression that I was looking at a dim painting of Batman super villian Two-Face.

March 31: Over the years, I have discovered the helpful but depressing fact that every time a dog’s name is featured in the name of a movie, the dog is going to die by the end. I was hoping Turner & Hooch would prove me wrong, but it did not.

April 1: Nick and I were in the fruit snack aisle when a man looked up from his phone with a shocked expression on his face and asked us if we had heard the news. Trump had resigned as president. This, of course, was an April Fool’s Day prank he had apparently unloaded multiple times. He’s playing a very dangerous game.

April 2: Today marks one year since we adopted George. We celebrated by shaving him completely because he got poop stuck in his butt hair again.



much love,
hedgie