In an attempt to cook more so my father will stop making fun of me and to blatantly steal from authors I like, I'm going to cook famous authors' favorite recipes or ones I find in their books. I decided to start with this simple one from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar.
Quote: “Avocados are my favorite fruit. Every Sunday my grandfather used to bring me an avocado pear hidden at the bottom of his briefcase under six soiled shirts and the Sunday comics. He taught me how to eat avocados by melting grape jelly and French dressing together in a saucepan and filling the cup of the pear with the garnet sauce. I felt homesick for the sauce. The crab meat tasted bland in comparison.”
Ingredients:
Grape Jelly
Deluxe French Dressing
Avocados
Steps:
1) Stress out in grocery store because this Wishbone bottle is the only French Dressing option, and since you don't know what French dressing should be like, maybe the "Deluxe" part will ruin everything.
2) Cut avocados in half and remove the seed.
3) Melt a few spoonfuls of grape jelly in a mug. Then realize that you need to fill six avocados and then add half(?) the jar of jelly and melt again.
4) Stir in random amounts of Deluxe French dressing until it tastes pretty good.
5) Fill the pit in the avocado with the mug sauce.
7) Immediately serve to your boyfriend so he will say nice things about it and make you feel better.
8) Eat a few halves before it dawns on you that at the end of the chapter where this avocado section takes place, everyone spends a week either vomiting or in a comatose state due to food poisoning.
This recipe was better than I was expecting. The jelly and salad dressing manage to balance each others' sweetness and vinaigrette. It was sweet and savory, but also very filling and probably the unhealthiest meal a person can have when 95% of the meal is made out of fruit.
much love,
hedgie
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