breaking the ice

 I’ve heard that a good way to break the ice in an awkward social situation is to tell an embarrassing story. Telling complete strangers a story of utter stupidity and failure to comprehend consequences really opens up the conversation. Sure, people laugh at first and ask what in the world you were thinking, but then the mood changes. They start relaxing, commiserating and telling their own stupid stories. It’s just easier to like someone who can laugh at their mistakes.

So I figured the best way to introduce myself and begin this blog was to tell one of these stupid stories.

Every summer, my family used to drive out to Mendocino for our vacation. Driving from L.A. with three squirmy and carsick children meant that it took about a day to make it to our destination. 

One particular summer, we had been driving for a long time and my Dad pulled the car over to a gas station to fill up.

He got out of the car and starts filling it up. My brothers and I raced into the little quick mart to fight over candy while my Mom went to check that all of our luggage was still tied securely to the roof of the car.

 When my brothers and I were done wrestling over skittles, we all piled back into the car and my Dad drove off and prepared to go back onto the freeway.

 We are about to get on the onramp when I see something in my peripheral vision moving just outside my window.

It smacked against the glass. I began to freak out, wondering what was happening, hoping that a bird had not just flown into my window and was now lying broken somewhere on the road.

I looked outside. It was a human hand.

It smacked the window over and over again. Then I heard a voice shouting, “I’m on the roof! I’m on the roof!”

Turns put my Mom was still on the roof of the car tying up the luggage when we took off driving, clutching the bags, smacking my window, and screaming at us.

And that’s why you should always check the roof of your car before you put your key in the ignition.

At the end of this story, people usually point out that this story isn’t at my expense, that I need to tell a story of something embarrassing that happened to me.

That’s not going to happen.
I’m not stupid.

much love,

hedgie