Right before I wrote this piece, a writer friend of mine challenged me to a write-off, which never happened. I can only assume he did not follow up on this challenge because he realized he would never be able to call himself a writer again after witnessing the tremendous, awe-inspiring magic I would have created. Due to this, I decided to make him the recipient of these rejection letters.
If you know Mr. Prichard, you can tell him to suck it.
much love,
hedgie
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