chair privileges

December 10: I spent all day in my pajamas. It was awesome.

December 11: Two of my students lost their chair privileges today. They kept purposely sitting in them wrong so that they would loudly tumble to the ground and get everyone’s attention. They had to spend half the day sitting on the rainbow rug.

December 12: I held the envelope up above my head for all of them to see. It contained the name of the winner of the poetry contest between us and my dad’s creative writing class. The fifth grade boys were legitimately terrified because if we lost, the bet stipulated we had to eat bugs and I told them I went to the bait shop that morning to buy a bag full of earthworms.

December 13: Maria bought tickets for her and her parents to go see Aladdin for Christmas. I mentioned that I was going to see it too. Then we found out that while Nick paid $80 for two tickets, Maria had paid $500 for three tickets. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me, “I hope your seats have partial obscurity.”

December 14: The latest toy trend is squishes, which are just the squishy versions of everyday objects. The more popular ones are ice cream cones and slices of chocolate cake. But at recess, I saw one girl squeezing a squishy entire loaf of bread.

December 15: During the school Christmas showcase, we had to break up a fight between two parents. Their sons had gotten into a fight and while relaying what had taken place, one of the mothers repeatedly yelled the n-word over and over again right in front of the TK class.

December 16: Nick trimmed my hair using electric clippers. The vibrations tickled my neck and made it very difficult to sit still.

December 17: Greg’s favorite feature of his new Tesla is what he calls the “chivalry button” that will open the passenger door for Elaine without him having to leave the car.




much love,
hedgie