Thursday, May 24, 2018

nutella, poop, or a combination of the two

May 17: As school let out, an adult woman and two male students came out of the third story bathroom together, the private bathroom that can only be opened with a classroom key. I had seen the two boys around, but I have never seen the woman. I thought it was weird at the time, but it didn’t strike me as worrisome until half an hour later. I told Melissa, but I’m hoping that whatever was happening was just an innocent accident.

May 18: We went out for drinks after work to celebrate Ana’s graduation from college. I ended up sitting next to her daughter, who proclaimed herself to be a taste test expert. She went on to taste test the bread, the chicken croquette, and even her paper napkin.

May 19: I wonder how many people besides me were woken up by their husband and dog howling at a passing fire truck together.

May 20: The neighbors had left over beer from a fundraising event, so they decided to make an impromptu sidewalk party. The beer keg sat out front with two more coolers of drinks. They had to move the barbecue because the wind was just pushing it down the street and they realized that it probably wasn’t the safest idea.

May 21: I told the kids about high frequency noises that they would be able to hear, but that I wouldn’t. They loved the idea of teenagers having high-pitched ringtones on their phones that their teachers could not hear. I played them a video on YouTube that played higher and higher frequencies in five second intervals. They were unable to hear at even normal frequencies because they spent the whole video yelling at each other.
“Back up!”
“Give me the speaker!”
“Leave it where it is!”
“I can’t hear anything!”
“Stop yelling in my ear!”

May 22: Today’s journal question was asked the class what is brown and sticky. Most of the students guessed either Nutella, poop, or a combination of the two. When all answers were turned in, I told them that the answer was “a stick”. Exactly one student laughed.

May 23: One of Jen’s kids wrote her book about how she is going to grow up to be a doctor some day. The illustration that accompanies this sentiment is of her with crossed eyes and a syringe flying across the room because I guess she thinks that giving someone a shot is akin to treating them like a dartboard.

May 24: The kids in Streetside Stories showed off their comic books today. Gwendolyn made one about putting dog poop in her mom’s desk as a prank and another one about a dinosaur who finds a diamond and then immediately dies because of the comet.




much love,
hedgie

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