burgers

Nick started a conversation earlier about how he would poison me without it looking suspicious. His plan was a little artless, something about raw fish, but it lead me to a truly brilliant scheme of how I could poison him.

Modernist Cuisine (their food is not poisoned, I assume).

Nick and I once ate at a restaurant where the waitress misheard me and wrote down that I wanted my hamburger rare. We were eating outside at night, so I didn't notice how red my food was until I had already eaten half of it. I ended up getting food poisoning.

Now for those of you who think you can ever figure out how Nick's mind works, his response to watching me vomit profusely at 3 in the morning because of eating a rare burger was to always order his burgers rare from then on.

He's been doing this for about two years now and has yet to have a bad experience from it, but I guess only time will tell...

But if Nick ever dies in mysterious circumstances, keep this just between us, okay, Internet?




much love,
hedgie